1. Recently, a friend said to me, “Hey, George, if a space alien beamed you up to his ship and demanded that you explain what being human is like, what would you say?”

    "Well," I said, "I’d advise the alien to spend a few days reading short stories." Short stories are the deep, encoded crystallizations of all human knowledge. They are rarefied, dense meaning machines, shedding light on the most pressing of life’s dilemmas. By reading a thoughtfully selected set of them, our alien could, in a few hours, learn everything he needs to know about the way we live. Except how it feels to lose one’s car in a parking garage and walk around for like three hours, trying to look as if you know where you’re going, so the people driving by—who have easily found their cars, having written the location on their wrists or something—don’t think badly of you. I don’t think there’s a short story about that yet.

    Reblogged from: witsradio
  2. thisiswhiteculture:

    jollygreenstoner:

    My daily learning…..no words

    so white people

    when faced with facts, do you still have the audacity to say racism is over?

    Reblogged from: ramblingsofasheeple
  3. New coffee machine. Next step for us is probably some sort of caffeine I.V. machine. (at Poetic Systems)

    New coffee machine. Next step for us is probably some sort of caffeine I.V. machine. (at Poetic Systems)

  4. popculturepoems:

    dennisbrain:

    theirishwishmonger:

    dennisbrain:

    hello yes if any brass players wanna snapchat me nudes it would be appreciated
    username is thehorniesthornist

    image

    this is better than anything i could have hoped for

    draw me like one of your french horns

    Reblogged from: popculturepoems
  5. Reblogged from: theclassyissue
  6. http://disfan.tumblr.com/post/92452905681/the-average-gatsby-alright-you-guys-have-posted

    the-average-gatsby:

    alright you guys have posted some pretty bad jokes on here but not one comes close to this doozy

    brace yourselves

    so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first…

    Guys! Guys!!!

    Reblogged from: disfan
  7. bthny:

unlikeableprotagonist:

5000letters:

bible-jpg:

Jenny Holzer

My arrogance knows no bounds and I will make no peace today, and you should be so lucky to find a woman like me 

My arrogance knows no boundsAnd I will make no peace todayAnd you shall be so luckyTo find a woman like me
Today neither will the East claim menor the West admit meToday my belly is a wellwherein serpents are coiledready to poison the world,and you should be so lucky.
All I have is my arrogamceI will teach it to lean backand smoke a cigarette in your faces,and you should be so lucky
No I will make no peaceeven though my hands are emptyI will talk as big as I pleaseI will be all or nothingAnd I will jump before the heavy trucksAnd I will saw off my leg at the thighbefore I bend one womanly knee
I am poisonAnd you will drink meAnd you should be so lucky.
Ishtar Awakens in Chicago by Moja Khaf

will always reblog

    bthny:

    unlikeableprotagonist:

    5000letters:

    bible-jpg:

    Jenny Holzer

    My arrogance knows no bounds and I will make no peace today, and you should be so lucky to find a woman like me 

    My arrogance knows no bounds
    And I will make no peace today
    And you shall be so lucky
    To find a woman like me

    Today neither will the East claim me
    nor the West admit me
    Today my belly is a well
    wherein serpents are coiled
    ready to poison the world,
    and you should be so lucky.

    All I have is my arrogamce
    I will teach it to lean back
    and smoke a cigarette in your faces,
    and you should be so lucky

    No I will make no peace
    even though my hands are empty
    I will talk as big as I please
    I will be all or nothing
    And I will jump before the heavy trucks
    And I will saw off my leg at the thigh
    before I bend one womanly knee

    I am poison
    And you will drink me
    And you should be so lucky.

    Ishtar Awakens in Chicago by Moja Khaf

    will always reblog

    Reblogged from: amazingexplodingwoman
  8. Reblogged from: fuckyeahmexico
  9. Star Trek Voyager: You got on the wrong plane.

    Star Trek Voyager: You got on the wrong plane.

    Reblogged from: ramblingsofasheeple
  10. So, I guess I’m buying a new truck, this one is his now.

    So, I guess I’m buying a new truck, this one is his now.

  11. mistergoodlife:

Coffee break with the 246 Dino
    Reblogged from: nickelcobalt
  12. aimexico:

Las personas migrantes que escapan de la violencia que azota a sus países son frecuentemente discriminadas, amenazadas y secuestradas al atravesar México. Sumemos nuestras voces para ponerle fin a esta situación. Actúa ya en: www.alzatuvoz.org/migrantes

    aimexico:

    Las personas migrantes que escapan de la violencia que azota a sus países son frecuentemente discriminadas, amenazadas y secuestradas al atravesar México. 

    Sumemos nuestras voces para ponerle fin a esta situación. Actúa ya en: www.alzatuvoz.org/migrantes

    Reblogged from: fuckyeahmexico
  13. …If you reduce music to mathematics, where does the emotion come into it? I would say that it’s never been out of it.

    The things by which our emotions can be moved — the shape of a flower or a Grecian urn, the way a baby grows, the way the wind brushes across your face, the way the clouds move, their shapes, the way light dances on water, or daffodils flutter in the breeze, the way in which the person you love moves their head, the way their hair follows that movement, the curve described by the dying fall of the last chord of a piece of music — all these things can be described by the complex flow of numbers.

    That’s not a reduction of it, that’s the beauty of it.
    Ask Newton.
    Ask Einstein.
    Ask the poet (Keats) who said that what the imagination seizes as beauty must be truth.

    …Because that is at the heart of the relationship between on the one hand our “instinctive” understanding of shape, form, movement, light, and on the other hand our emotional responses to them.

    And that is why I believe that there must be a form of music inherent in nature, in natural objects, in the patterns of natural processes. A music that would be as deeply satisfying as any naturally occurring beauty — and our own deepest emotions are, after all, a form of naturally occurring beauty.

    Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency pg. 184-185 (via hitchhikersguidetothegalaxy)
    Reblogged from: hitchhikersguidetothegalaxy
  14. I woke up like dis…

Thanks for the sweet new pencil @sbard19!

    I woke up like dis…

    Thanks for the sweet new pencil @sbard19!

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